Have you ever been tasked with something that just seems impossible? You really wanted to do it, but in the quiet when you were being completely honest with yourself, you knew you just couldn’t. Leading and guiding children can be a bit like that. We really want to do it just right. We want the Supernanny to be proud and use us as examples on her show. The picture of the precious little family sitting around the fire with smiles on their faces burns in our minds. The picture of our classroom with students perfectly behaved and eager to learn is our ultimate goal. Our reality is often quite the opposite. Instead, the kids are screaming through Walmart, and you hope and pray that someone isn’t anonymously sending in your name to Supernanny because you obviously need her help. The quiet night by the fire turns into a remake of the latest WWF match between the kids. Leading your classroom feels more like herding cats than imparting wisdom and knowledge to active participants. Leading and guiding children of any age is hard work filled with ups and downs, times of inexplicable joy, unmatched frustration, and insurmountable fears. BUT there is hope!
Leading the next generation is truly the highest calling. Period. When the desired outcome of any endeavor is to impart something to the next generation that will continue long after we are gone, it is a mammoth task for sure. As imperfect humans trying to accomplish this, we are often overwhelmed and frustrated, and frankly some days in the face of unrealistic expectations, we just want to throw in the towel. Attempting to accomplish this on our own will always be an exercise in futility until we realize that we are focusing on the wrong goal! The goal is not to recreate perfect little robots that bring us happiness and joy every second of their lives. That’s too much pressure for you and for me and frankly – for them too. If we truly want to lead a legacy, then our focus should be on leading our children in a way that models how God guides us – with a loving heart that seeks us out, with an understanding for who we really are, and a gratefulness for the opportunities we’ve been given. In Psalm 127, Solomon gives us a great deal of wisdom to help us on this journey.
Psalm 127
1 Unless the Lord builds a house,
the work of the builders is wasted.
Unless the Lord protects a city,
guarding it with sentries will do no good.
2 It is useless for you to work so hard
from early morning until late at night,
anxiously working for food to eat;
for God gives rest to his loved ones.
3 Children are a gift from the Lord;
they are a reward from him.
4 Children born to a young man
are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.
5 How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!
He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates.
In leading a legacy in the children God has entrusted to us, we must recognize that the Lord “builds the house,” NOT us! Too often in our accomplishment-driven culture, as parents, teachers, and youth workers, we depend on our abilities to achieve our own goals instead of trusting in how God leads us. We think that if we model long enough and hold accountable strictly enough then our kids will magically develop the morals that we want them to. But the only way to combat the humanistic mores and expectations of our current culture is to truly seek and trust God’s wisdom in all decisions and interactions with the children we are leading. As we establish guidelines for our children, are we allowing the ideas of popular culture to influence those expectations more than God’s Word, whether it’s parameters for dating or the idolization of extracurricular activities? What have we allowed to muddy the waters in our children’s lives? If we want to lead a legacy in our homes and classrooms that will endure, we must make sure the foundation is built on God’s Word.
Recognizing who God has created these children to be is also pivotal in this process. We shouldn’t work in vain on our own agenda or plan for them, but instead focus on guiding them based on the purpose and gifting that God has placed in them. It is imperative that this process is done through the lense of Scripture. Exploring the talents, interests, and passions of a child is key. As we guide our children into developing those things, we will see them mature into their God-given calling. God has a plan for the children you work with – a plan that is bigger than you can even imagine. He has intentionally gifted them and equipped you to guide them into His purpose for them (Ephesians 2:10). How are you guiding in that direction?
Undeniably, children are a blessing from the Lord. The privilege to impart something on this next generation that they will carry on throughout their lives is a daunting but rewarding task. The simile in Psalm 127:4, “children…are like arrows in a warrior’s hands,” captures the importance of the children that God has placed in our lives. They are as valuable as the most important asset to the warrior. He cannot be a warrior without his weapons, and our children are God’s provision to us as well. They help us grow closer to God in ways that we couldn’t do on our own. Anyone who works with children needs this reminder on a daily basis. When we want to throttle them for doing something childish, we need this reminder. When they talk back to us, we need this reminder. When they don’t live up to the potential we know they have, we need this reminder. We have a choice everyday as we lead the legacy God has given us, to focus on the frustration and the difficulty or focus on the blessing and provision!
How will you lead your legacy today? Start with a decision to follow these three steps:
- Seek God’s wisdom.
- Rest in God’s plans.
- Choose to enjoy the blessings!
Jenni, this will be such a blessing to so many. As I read itI go back to myself and can see how I could have done better and as I think of now and the future I see you practicing these principles in your own life. I never thought of my children as my arrows, my weapon and sure let’s me see things in a different light. I’ll stop for now until we talk again. Love ya and stay safe.