“I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth.” 3 Jn 1:4
The most important job of a parent, more than anything else, is to guide your children to an authentic relationship with Jesus. The foundation, the bedrock of any family is a thriving, relevant faith in Jesus. This is fertile soil for children to grow, develop, and excel into all that God wants them to be. Unfortunately too many parents build their families on much shakier foundations – material possessions, social status, reputable achievements, and the list goes on. Discipleship of our children is the responsibility of the parents, first and foremost.
This process begins with honest reflection for parents…where is your relationship with the Lord? If parents are not growing in their relationship with the Lord, how can they lead their children to do so? Being a disciple of Jesus focuses on five key areas of spiritual growth: Bible Study, Prayer/Worship, Fellowship, Ministry, and Evangelism. For any believer, growth in these five areas is pivotal in developing a relevant faith that is thriving and drawing others to Christ. The purpose of our faith is not for us alone…we grow, so we can help others grow. As parents, we grow so that we can help our children grow.
Bible Study
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17
The first habit of a disciple is spending time in God’s Word. It is very difficult to emulate something that you know very little about. It takes time to learn, study, and meditate on information before you can make it a part of your daily practice. God’s Word is given to us to grow and to equip us to do the work that is planned for us to do. We do not need to fly blind since God has given us what we need in his Word. Set aside time daily to read and/or study the Bible. Whether it’s a daily reading plan on a device or a paperback devotional, find what works for you. Get up earlier, turn off Netflix, stop scrolling on social media…do what you have to do to incorporate this into your daily rhythms.
Prayer/Worship
“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, He answers us. And if we know that He hears us whatever we ask we know that we have what we asked Him” I John 5:14,15
The power of prayer and the extension of that – worship – are often under-utilized in the lives of believers. The busyness of our modern lives too frequently overtakes our schedules, limiting the time we could prioritize for prayer. In a relevant faith, talking to God does not have to be a fancy, formal practice. 1 John 5 reminds us that we can confidently go to God with our requests, concerns, hurts, triumphs, everything. He hears us. His answers may not always be exactly what we want, but we can be assured that those answers are always for our good. Prayer and worship can help reset our perspective when the difficulties of life do come. In the daily rhythms of our lives, making prayer and worship a priority is vitally important.
Fellowship
“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another and all the more as you see the day approaching.” Hebrews 10:25
Part of discipling children includes positioning them in environments that help build their faith. Life in America can be quite isolating and lonely. We can be surrounded by people for the majority of our day, but never truly connect with others in real fellowship. Getting our kids connected in a like-minded church, school, or youth group is a necessary component of building a “village” of connection and support to foster spiritual growth in our children. This is one of the most misused or misunderstood areas of discipleship. Some feel that attendance alone at these places or events is enough. Real fellowship occurs when there is genuine connection and active participation. Also, this is an easy area of discipleship to ignore because it doesn’t seem as holy as some of the others. However, scripture is clear…as believers, we need the encouragement and support from fellow like-minded believers…and our kids do too.
Ministry
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” James 1:7
Serving others is the epitome of being like Jesus. He served everyone, especially the “least of these” that he came in contact with. Teaching our children to have compassion and love for those who are not like them or have less than them is an important component of discipleship. Serving others who can do absolutely nothing for you is a milestone of spiritual growth. As a family, plan to serve at church or at a local non-profit organization on a regular basis.
Evangelism
“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20
Lastly, we are disciples of Jesus to make more disciples of Jesus. That is our holy mandate and reason on this earth…to lead as many people to Jesus as we can. Our current culture tells us that we have to be super cautious in sharing Jesus with others because we don’t want to offend anyone. However, Jesus himself offended quite a few people. And often. We should always model for our children how to share the hope of Jesus in love regardless of the circumstances. It was the kindness of Jesus that led people to repentance (Romans 2:4), not the judgment, Bible beat-down, or anger.
Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck. Proverbs 1:8-9
As parents, it is our God-given responsibility to disciple our children to be more like Jesus. In your regular family practices, this can happen in a myriad of ways. The enemy would love nothing more than for parents to leave this to other people – the church, the school, their friends. None of this is God’s plan. He instructs us to directly instruct our children at all times and in all things.
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:6-9
The key is to model, model, model. Kids emulate what they see, hear, feel, experience. No matter how hard they fight it. No matter if they choose to walk away for a time. Our hope can be in the foundation of Jesus that we establish in our families for the hearts of our kids.
